C.R.A.V.E. for Papa’s Bosom

By Sherylyn Vivero

 

During our initial pregnancy checkup, my husband Ron was almost in tears when we heard little heartbeats. It was audible, fast and strong. We felt so blessed and privileged to have our very first bundle of joy. We named him Haven, means a “safe place or refuge.” But boy when he kicks… he kicked my ribs hard hahaha! It’s hard to describe the joy and excitement of being first-time parents. It truly is a bundle of joy.

Discharged from the hospital was an intimidating and scary moment. “What?! We’re taking him home today?” We asked ourselves. “Honey are we ready? How do we keep this baby alive?”

The funny thing is that I am a Nurse and I’ve assisted baby deliveries and showered newborns as part of my study. But that was ages ago. This time it’s for real.

The first night is always memorable. We were exhausted, especially me from the cesarean surgery. My son was too big in my pelvic inlet. But we were pleased to be sleeping in our bedroom. As I was snoozing with our little one, I heard a loud noise. Ron fell off the bed! “Are you okay?” I asked. “Yes I’m okay,” said Ron. “I am afraid I might crush Haven, so I kept on moving away from him.” We both laugh. The next day we purchased a very comfy king size bed.
That was almost five years ago. Time passed, and we now have two active small boys. Since the kids are still tiny, we both agreed that I work in the hospital and he will stay with the kids at home. Day care is expensive, and we don’t know if they’ll be looked after well.

Ron is a superb cook and has lots of patience with our kids. As a new father, Ron coiled a term “Papa’s Bosom.” Usually, before bedtime, Ron opens his blanket wide, and with a big smile, he invites his little ones inside the blanket. “Come Haven & Gian to Papa’s bosom!” he declares. Very excited and still giggling the two boys go rushing inside. Through the years I’ve noticed how he looked after the kids and how they always C.R.A.V.E. for Papa’s bosom…

Create happy memories. – When the kids were smaller, I love to dance Zumba in the living room, and Ron plays the drums during worship service. At a young age, Haven got a rhythm playing drums, and we enjoy watching them with their dance moves when we exercise in the morning. Together, we will draw, and color papers and Ron will fold it into origami to make colorful boats and airplanes. After reading their story books at night, the kids would turn on their favorite musical night light, and Ron would make shadow animals complete with sound effects before ending the night.

Respond to their Needs. – After my maternity leave, I needed to go back to work. It was one of the hardest moments for us. Having moved from one province to another, starting all over again is a big adjustment. Our youngest son Giancarlo was teething (restless and feverish), and we were trying to wean him off from breastfeeding too. We both agreed that after feeding him dinner and giving him milk in a cup, he would sleep with Papa to break his habit of breastfeeding at night. For five nights he cried all night long looking for Mama. Then I would wake up every morning to go to work for 12 hours for my orientation. I saw Ron’s sacrifices- making cold compresses, singing songs, rocking him in a chair and giving him medications round the clock for his fever. And if Giancarlo cries and is still restless, Ron would shower him with hugs and kisses as a sanction to him.

Affirm everyone’s strengths. – As parents of growing boys we observe what they’re good at, and then we support and encourage them. Haven likes music and sports. We exposed them to different sports – basketball, hockey, baseball, soccer, etc. For Giancarlo, he likes to eat (he even eat his big brother’s left over!). We let him open the fridge as he pleases to get some cheese and check what fruits he can have for snacks. Ron would also support me with living a healthy and frugal lifestyle. We don’t use the microwave at home; we rarely buy toys and clothes for the kids (most of them are hand-me- down and gifts). Since Ron love to watch hockey, basketball, baseball games, I support him and surrenders the remote control while I play with the kids.

Verbalize that they are LOVED. In every situation, we are mindful of being always grateful. Haven got used to cleaning up his toys and throwing away his baby brother’s dirty diaper. After doing that we will give him a big high five and say to him, “Thank you, son, for helping Mama and Papa clean up and look after the baby, and we appreciate your hard work.” One time we were inside a store and I heard Haven talking to his Father. “Papa po, can we buy this toy gun?” Ron replied firmly and lovingly. “Haven you already have a lot of toys at home.” And Haven said, “Oh, okay.” I was waiting for a little tantrum scene, but it didn’t happen. At an early age, it’s surprising how they can understand things. We are mindful of catching those teachable moments regarding the value of money and good manners. Every night after reading their favorite books, we bless them and pray with them. “I bless you, son; you are very strong and very brave. Mama and Papa love you so much”.

Explore great adventures – I’ve read a saying that “If they’re not passed out they’re probably okay.” We let our kids try things – and sometimes fail, we encourage risk-taking and to try again. We realized that shielding them too much and over helping may do more harm as they grow. We let them know that we are there for them and at the same time we want them to develop the strengths of skill, strong will, and character in life.

One day we visited a lovely waterfall, there was a bear warning sign at the entrance, and we hiked for a good 10 minutes. When we reached the place, we looked up and saw a family with a baby taking a bath in the waterfall. I said to myself, “Wow! Would love to try that too!” Ron said, “Let’s go up!” The four of us went up. The climb was very steep and a little bit slippery. And we made it very close to the waterfall. At the top, it was very refreshing, and the view was beautiful. Then I saw the family walking down, Ron & Haven went down too. When I looked around, it was just me and Giancarlo sitting beside the waterfall. “What if a big black bear or a grizzly just show up?” Suddenly I was worried (actually I started to freak out!). With gravity, it turns out it is tougher coming back down. When we reach caught up with Ron, I told him about my “what if… say a bear just showed up”. We both laughed at our silliness. Conquering your fears means exploring great adventures in life. It is liberating. It makes you feel more alive!

At the end of the day, we were making memories and having fun as a family.

When you’re feeling thirsty, a little tired in life and just need a quiet place to rest for a while, remember that there is a refreshing Papa’s bosom (God’s bosom) that’s always open for everyone -24/7. It’s a place of refuge where you can taste and see His goodness. All you need to do is open up, pray and be grateful!